P. H. Cordner

AOL Chatrooms, baby!

In Nonsense on October 6, 2009 at 23:23

Last summer, the monkeys and I decided to have some old school internet chats. We made a room in AIM and sounded the horn to see if we could recapture that pioneering spirit of the early internet. The transcript after the jump!

tmarksthespot entered the room.
Athanasios entered the room.
john entered the room.
john: woo!
tmarksthespot: haha~!
tmarksthespot: Tom!
tmarksthespot: Chatroom!
tmarksthespot: Woooooo!
Athanasios: wooooo!
john: limgong a/s/l
tmarksthespot: Trillian is not cooperating with my secondary taskbar
Athanasios: 19/f/miami
tmarksthespot: I wonder if windows sidebar has a twitter app
john: oooh pix please
john: totally
john: if linux has a twitter app, a real os certainly has one
tmarksthespot: But the sidebar!
Athanasios: sidbars are silly
john: yeah, i bet it does
tmarksthespot: you are silly
Athanasios: thats beside the point
tmarksthespot: I want to tweeeet constantly!
john: because the linux one is on the linux version of sidebar
Athanasios: turn into a kettle
tmarksthespot: now I need to refigure out how to get sidebar back
Athanasios: turn the monitor sideways
tmarksthespot: wahoo
tmarksthespot: oh a gadget
texas0212: what is going on
texas0212 entered the room.
Athanasios: whaaat!
texas0212: what is going on
john: ELI!
tmarksthespot: taxas! a/s/l!
Athanasios: hi eli!
tmarksthespot: Is that Elias??
texas0212: what
texas0212: john who are these people
Athanasios: i is tooom
john: Tim is tmarks
tmarksthespot: bobobobobobobob
EduardoLaSombra entered the room.
Athanasios: yaaay
john: bobobobo
tmarksthespot: Eduardo!
Athanasios: maaattt!
john: me too
tmarksthespot: a/s/l!!
EduardoLaSombra: omg lol….
EduardoLaSombra: *blushes*
EduardoLaSombra: hey room.
tmarksthespot: rolfmeeee
texas0212: which one is matt
john: o/ everyone
tmarksthespot: o emm zygoo
john: eduardolasombra = mvn
EduardoLaSombra: who is texas?!
texas0212: is everyone in here a boy?
john: Eli is texas
tmarksthespot: how are some of these gadgets moneycost?
EduardoLaSombra: eli!
Athanasios: i dont know i put nicknames over these so i can tell who is who
john: limgong said 19/f/miami
tmarksthespot: hawtt
texas0212: woah
tmarksthespot: I’m totally getting it
john: ok we need to get some more hott ladies
texas0212: second
tmarksthespot: base
john: oooh!
tmarksthespot: handy
EduardoLaSombra: lets cyber FUCK limgong! i love me some 19 year old f from miami!
john: whoawhao
tmarksthespot: ew bad word
EduardoLaSombra: … reeejected.
john: watch the language
Athanasios: come aside a moment
EduardoLaSombra: oh, i’m sorry. I wasn’t aware we were all going to be twatburglars
tmarksthespot: twatttttttt
tmarksthespot: come inside a moment
john: tweeet
Athanasios: twatty twat twat
john: twitter twitter twitter taint
texas0212: twat burger? I am hungry
Athanasios: same here
texas0212: but not that hungry
john: Tom you’re always hungry!
Athanasios: i could go for one
Athanasios: yes i am
tmarksthespot: what a firm handshake!
john: hungry for a win!
john: handjobs? What?
Athanasios: o god what is going on here
tmarksthespot: wat.
Athanasios: awyoowooyoowoowoo
EduardoLaSombra: what a… FRIM handshake. EMIRITE?
john: That was from a village show from 2007 i think
tmarksthespot: EMIRITEE
john: or early 2008
Athanasios: emigrate
john: The Emirates of Hacan are born traders and don’t have to spend a triangle to do trade
texas0212: peanuts
john: mmmmmm where?
Athanasios: honeyroasted?
john: unsalted?
texas0212: jingle jangled
tmarksthespot: P NOOTS
john: me jinglie jinglies!
Athanasios: i dont have my keys right now
Athanasios: yes and?
tmarksthespot: nekd
texas0212: is tom limgong?
john: yes
john: waffirmative
Athanasios: yes sir yes sir two bags full
texas0212: oh i thought we were really talking to a random girl
john: i didnt know they stacked shit that high
john: oh man
john: i wish
Athanasios: would a girl have the name limgong?
EduardoLaSombra: that would have been suuuper awkward had tom been a girl when i said the word “FUCK”
EduardoLaSombra: not cyber though..
tmarksthespot: siberia
Athanasios: ?
EduardoLaSombra: this is not word association!
tmarksthespot: limgong sounds like balls
texas0212: bells
Athanasios: wisconson dells
tmarksthespot: oregon trail!
Athanasios left the room.
john: limgong died of typhoid fever and a gunshot wound
texas0212: intense
EduardoLaSombra: and rattlesnake bites
EduardoLaSombra: those scared me so much when playing oregon trail
tmarksthespot: oh man
tmarksthespot: cholera
tmarksthespot: BEARZS!
john: Shoot em!
tmarksthespot: who kicked tom?
john: you did, right??
texas0212: 8-bit!
john: he can’t rejoin
tmarksthespot: I don’t even know how to kick people
john: hmm
tmarksthespot: new room!
john: what?
john: where?
tmarksthespot: sum1makeone
Athanasios entered the room.
john: yeah!
Athanasios: wat
Athanasios: the
john: hax!
Athanasios: fak
Athanasios: power hacks
tmarksthespot: haxxxxxxx0000rs
tmarksthespot: Oh man
tmarksthespot: Alter Bridge came on shuffle
EduardoLaSombra: aol chatrooms are like, SO 90’s man
tmarksthespot: they want to be creed so bad
Athanasios: thats awful
tmarksthespot: Yeah but trillian chatrooms are so 01-02
john: yeah man, matt let’s go on usenet alt.sex.eroticstories
Athanasios: wat
tmarksthespot: wat
john: wok
EduardoLaSombra: okay! i’ll follow your ip address there!
Athanasios: lol

EduardoLaSombra: i’ll plug it into my TI-82.1ispell calculator and then it can be wireless!
tmarksthespot: wah fukkk
john: oooh do you have dopewars
tmarksthespot: ELI!
tmarksthespot: ELI!
tmarksthespot: ELI!
tmarksthespot: ELI!
tmarksthespot: ELI!
tmarksthespot: ELI!
tmarksthespot: ELI!
tmarksthespot: ELI!
john: ELias!
texas0212: hey guys i just ate a sandwich
EduardoLaSombra: i have chronicwars! it’s like dopewars, but upgrade
Athanasios: ile!
tmarksthespot left the room.
john: Tim!
EduardoLaSombra: oh, bull shit
tmarksthespot entered the room.
texas0212: it was peanut butter with strawberry jelly
Athanasios: ahhh
Athanasios: i see now
texas0212: yup
Athanasios: i think i am going to have a ham sandwich
john: hcsalg saile
Athanasios: yay mooch off family
texas0212: tim it was nice waking up this morning and you being there
Athanasios: i though tim was marrying mary?
tmarksthespot: aw
tmarksthespot: eli mary and i are moving into a one-room apartment together
tmarksthespot: john, I need to rent out your room
tmarksthespot: to me
tmarksthespot: and eli
tmarksthespot: sub-clause for mar
tmarksthespot: y
john: what?
john: oh well ok
texas0212: yeah sounds inexpensive. thats my kind of ticket
tmarksthespot: Do you think in the North Pole, they say sub-clause instead of sub-par?
tmarksthespot: and shouldn’t sub-par be a good thing?
EduardoLaSombra: if there were a christmas-themed sub sandwich at subway, it’d be called the “Sub-Clause!”
john: A par 4 sub is one tasty sandwich
tmarksthespot: Twitter app successful
john: oh man beaten to the punch with the sandwich joke
Athanasios: i would rather have a birdy sandwich
EduardoLaSombra: i would RATHER have a water hazard sandwich! LOL
john: hahahahaha
tmarksthespot: 😉
john: better than that sandtrap
john: tastes like a hangover
EduardoLaSombra: grit
texas0212: but the girl on the snak cart is a way better deal
tmarksthespot: yarm
EduardoLaSombra: like a sandWITCH’s vag?
john: You need one of those golf bags with a beer tap on it like on caddyshack
texas0212: no no. she has got candy bars and gatorade
john: and a tape deck
EduardoLaSombra: and a moonerang
tmarksthespot: man i’m totally filling up my sidebar with gadgets now
EduardoLaSombra: dude, eli, that girl goes boner hopping all the time
tmarksthespot: what snack cart?
texas0212: dah
EduardoLaSombra: more like boner cart
texas0212: dis-a-pointing
john: hahaha
EduardoLaSombra: more like dis-a-bonering
Athanasios: this conversation is very hard
Athanasios: to follow
john: rock hard!
EduardoLaSombra: more like this boner is very hard
john: hahaha boners
tmarksthespot: browner
EduardoLaSombra: hotttt
Athanasios: hoot
EduardoLaSombra: haute
john: couture
john: juicy
Athanasios: cuisine
EduardoLaSombra: candidy
john: candide
john: cunegonde
EduardoLaSombra: karen.
Athanasios: hahahaha
EduardoLaSombra: fergie is the perfect woman for any man
tmarksthespot: I love how rainn wilson gives everyone music suggestions in his twitter updates
texas0212: fergie sucks
Athanasios: hot
john: quelle dorc, that dwight guy, right?
Athanasios: holy crap it’s one alrady
Athanasios: two for you silly people
tmarksthespot: yarp
john: more like two central time boy
tmarksthespot: haha sillary people
john: the chilly silly people!
EduardoLaSombra: HAHAHA! i just got the best follower on twitter
EduardoLaSombra: https://twitter.com/xermuquteohw
john: oh man!
texas0212: gros
Athanasios left the room.
texas0212: all i saw was wangle
EduardoLaSombra: i offended tom.
john: he can’t look at that stuff, his mom’s over his shoulder. Hi maria!
tmarksthespot: man
texas0212: i didn’t want to see anything. from now on… no bits
tmarksthespot: www.meatspin.com
tmarksthespot: its everyone’s new homepage!
tmarksthespot: if you’re not on www.meatspin.com, you’re not on the internet!
Athanasios entered the room.
Athanasios: (2:02:21 AM) You have been disconnected from chat room !aol://2719:10-4-tmarksthespotchat715.
Athanasios: this is the message i got
tmarksthespot: that’s the name of the chatroom you darnk
john: lol darnk
Athanasios: shush you godknob
tmarksthespot: shut your beaverdam!
Athanasios: i provide a sanctuary for a water mammal
john: and deforest my precious trees!
john: get ready for a 12 gague slug you rodents!
Athanasios: we gonna gnaw your legs!
tmarksthespot: parks
john: department
john: your cousin jeffrey works for the parks department!
tmarksthespot: moom
texas0212: what
john: Seinfeld!
john: remember the bet?
tmarksthespot: beefaroni!
john: Master of your domain!
texas0212: i am too young
john: they couldn’t say masturbate on tv back then
Athanasios: i am confused
john: So George was at his parent’s house, and his mom catches him jacking it in the bathroom to a glamour magazine
john: and then he’s like “I’m never doing THAT again!”
Athanasios: ah yes that episode
texas0212: i am tired. goodnight everybody
Athanasios: agreed gnight
john: Bye Eli!
tmarksthespot: NIGHTYNIGHTY
texas0212: byyyyyyyye
texas0212 left the room.
Athanasios: gnight
Athanasios left the room.
john: bye tom!
john: man that tom is a loser
john: well this place is dead
tmarksthespot: dededed
john: but what a grand experiment, eh compatriots!
tmarksthespot: fukkit
john: indeed
EduardoLaSombra: mortherfukkit

  1. Hilarity at is finest.

  2. But Rutt

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