P. H. Cordner

Posts Tagged ‘Sex’

We only take cash. Or the Player’s Club.

In Nonsense on May 27, 2009 at 01:57

So for the entire month of May, I think, I’ve been paying for things with cash only. The inspiration for this was when my dad found $1,200 cash on the street in Lincoln Park. He put an ad on Craigslist about it, nobody called, save for me in a silly British accent. He affectionately called the windfall his “wad,” and subsequently blew it on a new TV for the master bedroom and other stuff. However, he gave the last hundred or so to my mom, to give her a starting base for a wad. She used this cash whenever possible, never used the card, and ended up spending way less money. So she got on the horn and said that my brother and I should forget about cards, and use cash only. She gave us each a $50 that we are not to spend, only in an emergency, to carry around at all times.

If you haven’t been in a college town, everyone there uses a debit card, most likely a Chase Check Card. The kids will put every expense on it, because it’s easier, no fiddling with coins, and you feel less vulnerable to muggings, etc. I quickly realized the silliness of charging things that cost like 2.45 on the card when I talked to Angelo, and got the score on Visa’s costs to the local businessman. He upped the limit for a charge transaction to 7.00, and I think he should go all the way to 10. Sure, someone like Chipotle or something doesn’t mind the extra charge, but it’s nice to know that when I pay cash, all the money’s going to the guy I exchanged goods or services for (and if they’re particularly shady, the taxman won’t get a slice either! Zing!)

Plus, carrying around a wad feels cool. Paying things for cash is pretty sweet. You look like some high roller when you pay for like a $50 bar tab in cash. I’m of course, not a high roller, I felt a $60 profit in the casino was like winning the lottery, and the cash in my pocket is the majority of my check. I don’t even know where exactly my debit/atm card is. It’s somewhere in my apartment, I know, but hey, who cares? I’ve memorized my account number so I can fill out the slips at the bank and deposit or withdraw anything I need, as long as it’s during business hours. Waiting at the teller window and getting money from a human being is a throwback, for sure, like smoking an unfiltered Lucky Strike and buying a war bond. When it’s in a building partially designed by Sullivan, all the better!

Paying for cash during a group restaurant outing is much easier than having to write instructions on a receipt, which often happens when large parties of college kids dine at real restaurants, and have to charge their shares on an unsplit ticket. Now you may say: “The problem actually rests on the restaurant, who gives a table of 10 college kids one check! Come on, it’s the 21st Century! Everyone pays with credit chits now!” Sorry, I don’t buy it. Little strips of linen with statesmen on them still beat out some magnetized plastic for me. It’s the cachet. I mean really, who is cooler, Bogart or Christian Bale? I’m a 20th Century Boy!

…. 20th Century Boy… I wanna be your toy …

Where you always save more money!

In Nonsense on March 5, 2009 at 20:59

Usually, the banner ads that have the same 3 pictures on them of sexy chicks are programmed to get your IP and put in a stringĀ  based on where you are. Adult Friend Finder, the most popular of these “get your jollies off 2nite!” websites, is pretty good. It always says “West Lafayette.” The low-rent one on Mininova is always telling me that sexy sex awaits me in Elmhurst! For those of you who didn’t watch Chicago area TV in the 90’s, when I think of Elmhurst, I think of the former Celozzi-Ettleson Chevrolet, on the corner of York and Roosevelt roads. Now I know what’s going on there at the old abandoned car lot!